I am crap at cooking

So I’ve discovered an amazing website www.supercook.com where you can input the ingredients you have in your cupboards and it will come up with recipes for you. This is amazing news for me. I am completely incapable of being imaginative in the kitchen and unless I’ve planned my meals and bought all the necessary ingredients, I just can’t seem to cook up a storm when it gets to those last couple of days before the ‘big shop’.

This is my food making routine:

1) open the fridge
2) look at food in fridge and feel uninspired
3) spot the cheese
4) open cheese
5) break massive chunk of cheese off but try do it evenly so Hubby can’t tell I’ve been at the cheese again
6) look at calorie content of cheese
7) say “Ah fuck it” to self
8) spot out of date cherry tomatoes, celery and blueberries
9) wonder why I always buy cherry tomatoes, celery and blueberries when I end up throwing most of them away
10) shut fridge
11) look in cupboards
12) eat 3 Haribo from secret stash on top of cupboard
13) wonder why I have 4 packs of dried puy lentils in cupboard
14) try use brain to think what I can cook with lentils
15) read lentil packet for inspiration
16) realise have to cook lentils for like, 40 minutes
16) think “Fuck that”
17) open fridge
18) stare into fridge in the hope I’ve missed something. Anything!
19) spot cheese
20) carefully break off more cheese
21) put cheese in mouth
22) shut fridge
23) hear husband approaching
24) open fridge and stick head in as far as will allow
25) chew
26) chew faster
27) reply to all questions with “Uh hmmm” for next 30 seconds
28) swallow
29) slam fridge door
30) declare “There’s nothing in! Fancy takeaway my darling?”

This is my husband’s food making routine:

1) look in fridge
2) look in freezer
3) look in cupboards
4) 40 minutes later walk into dining room with Asian seated tuna steak on a bed of puy lentils, cherry tomatoes and shredded chilli celery with blueberry tapenade.

See, I need that site!

7 responses to “I am crap at cooking

  1. Pingback: Photo a Day November 14 – Man Made | Storm in a K cup·

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