I’ve never done this ‘What I wore Wednesday’ (WiWW) link before with Transatlantic Blonde but I read Glasgow Mummy‘s WiWW posts and think “man I need to try harder with my wardrobe”. I’d never heard of Boden before reading Glasgow Mummy’s WiWW posts and now I’m all like “oooh/ahhh” pouring over the Boden site.
I would class my style as always in a rush and hastily thrown together with no thought whatsoever. I have no idea what suits me, my colouring, my age or my body shape. This morning was a classic example. After having Blake in bed with me until 3am, I overslept and went on a mad panic rush around the house trying to find something decent, clean and not creased to wear for work. I’m at that inbetweeny stage with the washing. The whites are done and on the maiden, towels in the washing machine ready on the timer so they’ll be done when I get in from work and the darks, well they’ve all been left for days and I’ve no jeans and NOTHING TO BLOODY WEAR! As I grabbed the ensemble you’re about to see, I actually thought to myself “What ARE you wearing woman?!”. I was feeling full of shame arriving to work, thinking everyone must think I’m a ‘Meff’. However, when I arrived at work I was showered with lovely compliments from my colleagues on my get up which just left me baffled and confused. I honestly think I look terrible. The high neck goes against everything Gok says about big boobies and the horizontal stripes are surely a no-no after pigging out on Blake’s Easter eggs for the past fortnight?
Cardigan: From Supre in Australia was about £20
Dress: It says AKI collection on the label and was £10 in a sale at the fab Resurrection in Liverpool. I’ve only worn it once before thinking it was vile.
Boots: Recent eBay purchase. Bally leather and suede with cuban heel for £20 (Bargain!!!!) RRP is over £500 for these so I felt like I’d won some kind of award nabbing these.
Dog: Model’s own
I went clothes shopping on Saturday. It wasn’t half stressful. I just don’t understand fashion these days and I realise that statement right there makes me old and past it. This love of oversized shirts, tshirts and tops that seems to be in just doesn’t look right on my mammoth mammaries and don’t even get me started on leggings as actual trousers. I mean WTF? I’m sorry if you’re a lady reading this who wears these undergarments as outergarmets but they just look stupid. Especially if you are any larger than a size 6 or over the age of 6. It’s OK to wear them if you’re wearing a long top or tunic that covers your bum. That’s acceptable. However, don’t ever, EVER think you can wear them as pants with no underwear. I was nearly sick on the train last week when a legging clad lady was stood up right next to me as I was sat down. There were hairs poking through her 120 denier leggings. HAIRS!!!! Bloody knicker spiders all poking out, offending me on my route home. Ewwww. And then there’s the girls with no bums who’s leggings end up halfway down their legs and they look like they’ve done a big poo in them. Yuk. I hate leggings as pants. It’s like you’re half dressed. Just get some skin tight jeans, it’ll save you from the dreaded camel toe!
So yeah, fashion. I don’t get it. I walk past Topshop and think someone has vomited a mismatch of clothes onto the mannequins. My gorgeous teenage sister is uber fashionable. She always looks fantastic, however she wears dead people’s clothes. Seriously. She’s obsessed with vintage which actually means paying over the odds for your late Aunt Mabel’s gear someone decided to donate once she’d popped her clogs. Don’t get me wrong, she looks great. Bloody gorgeous. But she’s 18, tall, blonde and not an ounce of fat on her so she would look great in anything. I often say I ‘know’ she looks good (for my female, celebrity obsessed, magazine reading brain recognises these garments as fashionable and processes this as looking ‘bang on trend’ or whatever other cliched shite they say in mags) but I also say it looks like she’s been covered in glue and allowed to run round Oxfam for an hour. I would love for my beautiful, younger, fashionable sister to take me shopping and give me a style makeover but I’m scared I’ll end up like the people in this clip. I love this video. It sums up how I feel about fashion and what’s ‘cool’ these days:
I’ll always be a dickhead but I think I’m past being cool.