Be A Good Egg This Easter

Disclaimer: These are my own personal views and my own standards with my own child.  I try not judge everyone else and their parenting choices.  What I’m about to say works for me as a Mum and is my own view and my own way.  It is in no way intended to offend or be the Gospel according to St Perfect Parent so please take it with a pinch of salt.

My husband says I am a crank.  

I suspect my in-laws think the same thing.  

I’m sure my own Mum has rolled her eyes at my views on this subject but here it is…


He’s had it twice before.  Both times not given by me but I gave in because that’s what you do when you can’t be arsed arguing.

He’s 15 months old.  His every need is taken care of by people other than himself.  He is a defenceless little creature who only knows what you put in front of him.  I have chosen for him not to know chocolate, crisps, sweets, juice and other tasty treats.  Why?  Because I believe there is plenty of time for him to enjoy these things.  When he is older, and wiser.  What is the rush?  Yeah kids love sweet things but if they’ve never had them before now, what they don’t know can’t hurt them.

I suffer badly with a variety of dental problems at the moment.  I’m praying my little man has inherited his Daddy’s strong super human genes and not mine.  But praying might not be enough so I want to ensure his little gnashers get the best possible start as they form his cheeky trademark grin, hence my militant stance on the foods he eats and the fact I only allow him to drink water or milk.

Every time I mention our son’s food and diet, my Husband says somewhere in the world, a kitten dies. He stands there, staring out into the distance, aware of the barrage of nutritional gobbledegook about to fall from my mouth and starts emitting a quiet painful “meow”;

“No, he’s not having a biscuit.  There are the 100%-organic-twice-rolled-oat-granola-mixed-with-succulent-fruits-of-the-nutrition-Gods-carrot slices in the cupboard.  Give him one of those.”  is one of my typical neurotic responses.

This is usually met with the same standard reply from my gorgeous but idiotic husband;

“FOOD POLICE ALERT! FOOD POLICE ALERT! Neeee-norrr-neee-norrr-neeee-norrr. Awwwwwooooooooooooooooooooooo FOOD POLICE ALERT! FOOD POLICE ALERT!”

It’s become the standard joke in the family.  I don’t care though, I believe what I’m doing is right.  Yes, it’s not going to be like this forever and no, I’m not going to still be like this when he’s 18 but I am passionate about this topic.

With Easter rapidly approaching I have been worried about this subject for the last couple of weeks.  How on earth do I ask people who I think may buy him an Easter egg not to?  It’s another opportunity for the whole family to label me as weird and insane again.  Argh!

Then came the solution…

Today, I met with three lovely ladies from Clatterbridge Centre for Oncology in Merseyside.  Being an adopted Scouser I’ve come to realise that this place is very special to Liverpudlians.  Clatterbridge provides support for around 26,000 cancer patients each year in the local area.  At the moment they are desperately in need of raising £50,000 before the end of this month to fund vital research, offer the most up-to-date treatment and provide life-changing support services that would otherwise be unavailable.  They are working tirelessly on a last minute fundraising campaign called ‘Be A Good Egg’.  The idea behind this is that instead of buying an Easter egg for a loved one you can help out Clatterbridge and donate to their cause.  Just £6 would help fund half an hour of vital cancer research.  I know Easter eggs aren’t expensive these days but every little does really help.


So, this is my little cheeky request and plea to my family and friends who were thinking of buying my little ‘un an egg this year.  I hope you’re not offended when I ask if you would mind leaving the chocolate eggs on the shelf and instead clicking onto this page and donating what you would’ve spent on a sweet treat to this very worthwhile cause.  Go on, be a Good Egg.  

Thank you for reading!  

Love WPC Gemma Ray – Chief Constable of the Food Police

3 responses to “Be A Good Egg This Easter

  1. Dear Chief Constable, I used to get this grief from my own in-laws too, but then my SIL lost about 5 stone and was suddenly very evangelical about not feeding our little man lots of sugar. Before that I was the Wicked Witch of the West! You are right, plenty of time for all that, not like my little man never has any sweet treats, just not every day.

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