…Well that’s why you’re here isn’t it? Because of me. My magic fingers type words, sentences and random ramblings that then appear on this page for your eyes to see and brain to process. Clever that isn’t it?
So, me. If you’ve been directed here by Twitter or Facebook chances are you’ll know me personally so I don’t need to tell you about me, you know all that guff already. If not, then I am Cynthia Ponsenby Smythe the 3rd twice removed, 21, body of a goddess, bank balance and dazzling smile to rival Simon Cowell. I have a mane of golden hair and legs as long as Camilla Parker Bowles face. I’m an investment banking, helicopter flying, Himalayan trekking nun who’s been shortlisted for both the Nobel Peace Prize, a Pulitzer and an Oscar.
I’m also a big fat liar for this is untrue.
I’m Gemma, rapidly escalating towards my 30th birthday in a little over 7 months time. Northern tea drinking, radio presenting, potty mouthed wife to Shaun and Mum to Blake. I haven’t got a clue about investment banking or trekking the Himalayas but once upon a time I was partial to a bungee jump or a sky dive. Not any more. Mummyhood has meant that the most thrill seeking thing I do these days is put two lots of Dairy Milk through the self serve till at Asda and see if the assistant will override the incessant computerised female telling me there’s an “unexplained item in bagging area!”. Producing a child has completely changed everything and people who are already parents will tell you that you “don’t remember what life was like before!”. They’re right, I don’t! Those bungee jumps are a long distant memory and have been replaced by sleep deprivation, discussing at length the consistency and freqeuncy of my baby son’s poo and most annoyingly developing a rather large set of what my Scouse husband would call ‘chebs’. A 32K set of ‘chebs’ to be exact, hence the title of this blog!
Let the ‘Storm in a K cup’ begin…